5 nonfiction books that changed the way I think

When it comes to audiobooks, I love listening to nonfiction, as I mentioned in a previous article. Whether I’m driving, walking, cleaning, or cooking, a great nonfiction book allows me to think hard and get curious while I’m engaging in more mundane tasks.

With many audiobooks, I listen once and appreciate them—hopefully—but never think of them again. Certain books, though, share concepts so applicable to daily life that I find myself thinking about them repeatedly. Often I listen to these books more than once, buy a physical copy to pore over, and come back to them when I need inspiration. They have altered the way I think about work, relationships, parenting, and personal growth.

Here are five books that I read years ago, but think about time and again:

The Extended Mind: The Power of Thinking Outside the Brain by Annie Murphy Paul

Not only did this book change how I think, but it taught me about WHY I think the way I do, and about the factors influencing my thinking that I had never known about before. Paul uses scientific research to explain how thinking is dependent on much more than your brain; it changes based on the conditions of your body, your environment, and the people around you.

When it comes to your body, The Extended Mind explains how physical gestures contribute to problem-solving and how going for a walk greatly enhances your creativity. In your physical environment, plants and other natural objects can harmonize conditions for your brain, whereas loud noises and manmade shapes and clutter can impede thinking ability. With people, teaching and mentoring augments your own understanding of a subject.

Paul’s book comes to mind whenever I feel clarity during a hike in the mountains or a walk in the nature preserve near my house, admiring the trees and birdsong; and when I feel more clarity because my immediate environment is neat and organized. When my husband, a YouTube creator, goes for a jog and comes home with a new video idea, I think of the principles in The Extended Mind.

Social: Why Our Brains Are Wired to Connect by Matthew D. Lieberman

This book transformed the way I look at relationships in my life. Before this book, I thought some people were more social than others, and that I fell somewhere in the middle of that spectrum. It wasn’t an area where I intentionally invested as much energy as I do now, thanks to Lieberman’s thoughtful look at how we are literally wired to be social creatures; we depend on connections with others in the same way we depend on food and water.

Lieberman’s scientific research also demonstrates that social pain is equivalent to physical pain, and that our thinking is more socially influenced than we might imagine. The evolutionary science behind our social brains helps to explain why community is such a vital element of our health and well-being. Though much of it seems obvious in hindsight, if you want to understand how integral social connection is to the way we think and feel, I highly recommend this book.

Talking to Strangers by Malcolm Gladwell

This Gladwell work was meant to be consumed as an audiobook, and it contains music, interviews with subjects, and other original audio. Most of the book centers on the theory that people “default to truth,” or tend to believe the easiest thing to believe about a person or subject. It addresses questions like: how was Amanda Knox convicted of murder and imprisoned without valid evidence? How was Larry Nassar able to abuse members of the US women’s gymnastics team, over the course of 22 years, right beneath their mother’s eyes? How did Hitler bamboozle the British government and many others who assumed righteous were driving his actions?

Another concept the book illustrates is that of coupling, the idea that a behavior is tied to a situational phenomenon. For example, in England in the 1950s and 1960s, the suicide rate was coupled with the presence of toxic gas stoves in apartments. Once the potentially deadly stoves were converted to harmless natural gas, the suicide rate there dropped dramatically.

I often think of this book when I hear of a situation wherein a seemingly obvious fact was missed, or people trusted someone who seems obviously sinister in hindsight. I think of the coupling concept, too, whenever an external factor has an obvious influence on a person’s behavior. Gladwell has plenty of critics, and faced criticism for this book’s analysis of the Sandra Bland tragedy, as explained here. But he has a compelling ability to explain psychological phenomena in a way that sheds light on people’s choices and experiences.

Range: Why Generalists Triumph in a Specialized World by David Epstein

I remember being excited about David Epstein’s 2019 book because of confirmation bias: I love immersing myself in a wide range of seemingly unrelated things, whether it’s cooking or writing history or Taylor Swift or nonprofit board work. Range argues that having a wide breadth of experience in different fields, even different professions, contributes to success in complex endeavors like business, science, and medicine. The disparate areas of expertise one builds from engaging in a variety of different work equips one better than specializing in a single area.

This concept comes back to me whenever I see someone, or myself, face a unique challenge or transition, and use unexpected skills from some different arena of life to tackle it. When I listen to a podcast and hear about the surprisingly circuitous route that led to a guest’s ultimate success, I remember the ideas of Range. Anyone considering different careers, especially if doing two or three things you love seems impractical, would benefit from this book.

You’re Not Listening: What You’re Missing and Why It Matters by Kate Murphy

Before Kate Murphy’s 2019 book, I thought I was a good listener. Boy, was I wrong. You’re Not Listening helped me see that like most people, I never really listened to people so much as I waited to speak when they stopped talking.

Murphy explains that the rise of technology in daily life, as well as our general busy-ness, have contributed to a dearth of real listening and nurturing others. Other factors inhibiting our ability to listen are our discomfort with silence; our tendency to listen to only that which confirms what we already think; and our tendency to want to problem-solve people’s issues. She provides many practical strategies and tips for improving our curiosity and our ability to truly pay attention, listen, and understand.

I’m still working on becoming a better listener, and I think of this book often - and recommend it to anyone wanting to improve relationships, communication skills, and general life quality.

Additional titles that almost made this list include Grit by Angela Duckworth, You Should Talk To Someone by Lori Gottlieb, and Thinking in Bets by Annie Duke.

What about you? Which nonfiction books helped shape your thinking and how you see the world? Please share in the comments!